1. I have put on weight and I don’t know how and I hate it.
    The end.

    I lied. Not the end. Like I’m back to what I was before I lost weight. I just realised. I am not ok with this. Must start exercising. It’s not even hugely about the weight. I just feel so unhealthy. So so unhealthy :( And so weirded out because I haven’t been eating much in the way of chocolate or anything bad!!
  2. Feelings currently: I am cold and tired and I can’t be bothered showering and getting ready because somehow that’s the most annoying part of my day, and I don’t want to go to orientation tonight because there’ll be people I don’t know and iorvndisofidhdfhfuhdhf.

    Logic says: feelings and situations are temporary and all the things I’m worried about are not permanent, they will pass and once they have passed I have a lot of fun things to look forward to in August. I will survive because I always do because God will lead me through.
    Meeting people isn’t too bad. Fake it till you make it.
    And whatever I get done today I don’t have to do tomorrow.

    Stupid logic making sense.

    Further logic: I am cold and shower is warm.
  3. I just finished Veronica Mars. Including the movie.
    I did not like the movie.

  4. Things I should do today:
    - put a payment on my wedding dress
    - pay my phone bill
    - go to the doctors
    - figure something out for dinner

    Thing I must do today:
    - go to orientation tonight

    What I am currently doing:
    - lying in bed with no desire to get up because I don’t fall asleep until 3:30am

  5. Once again, sleep eludes me.

    Story time with Steph?

    The weeks before Anfo asked me out were seriously confusing for me. I didn’t understand WHY it was that I liked him, I just did. He wasn’t my usual type and for while I was weirded out and annoyed at myself for liking him.

    But no matter what I did, I kept on having feelings for him. In the week or two before he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was having problems sleeping. He used to call one or two of our friends to wake them up some mornings and so I put in a request to be ‘woken up’ when really I just wanted to talk to him. I had the weirdest sleeping schedule that week. The night he asked me out I was up until around 7am the next morning, unable to sleep. He called me around 6 and I just remember really loving sitting on the phone with him.

    It’s just hilarious to me to think about how I felt a month or two prior. He was a lot closer with one of my friends than he was me and they’d talk heaps. I remember getting stuck talking to him on the phone while at her house once when she had her hands full and I felt so awkward.

    And there I was a month or two later, feeling so much peace about him. A God kind of peace.

  6. I just finished season three, the final season, of Veronica Mars.
    I am so not ok that they cancelled it. It’s like firefly all over again. Thank goodness there’s a movie!
    That’s on tomorrow’s to do list.

  7. Tonight I am thankful for my love. Despite a difficult past month he’s been much better this past week. And as always, even when he’s grumpy, he helps me when I’m not feeling great and that is more amazing than I have words for.
    I had to leave the grocery store and sit in the car after being in there for 3 minutes and he just smiled and offered to buy me chocolate milk.
    I had planned dinner (we were out to buy the ingredients) and yet when we got home he just started cooking without a word, and my goodness that boy makes good nachos. Much better than mine would have been anyway haha.

    He’s currently asleep and I got into bed and he snuggled closer.

    And he almost teared up when he realised he can’t come to my orientation thing (which would have bored him) and how bummed I am. Even tried to figure out a way to get there or meet me there but it’s just not gonna happen. Oh well. It’s the thought that counts and I am so grateful.

    I am also grateful for friends. For starkravingchristian offering to skype me the nights anfo is away next week so I have someone to talk to (I imagine I will need the debrief).

    And I am thankful that God provides. And that not only does he provide things and money but also provided me with the skills to save my money and spend it wisely. I have come to the end of the two weeks (I get paid fortnightly) and I have $75-80 left! Normally I may have $20 tops.
    I can afford to either send Anthony or myself if I can’t get some subsidised visits from the doctor, to the osteo in the next week!

  8. That moment when a TV episode is about to end and it’s late and you sit there thinking ‘please please resolve that question before the episode ends’ and they don’t and so you’re stuck trying to decide if you should watch the next episode and be up late or not.

  9. Apparently Chilz prefers sleeping on top of Anthony’s work clothes in a Corona box rather than in bed or on the couch or anywhere else that seems much cosier. Weirdo.

    Apparently Chilz prefers sleeping on top of Anthony’s work clothes in a Corona box rather than in bed or on the couch or anywhere else that seems much cosier. Weirdo.

  10. Just found out I had the chance to go to Sydney with Anfo next week but I can’t because work.
    Ugh. I could have visited Jas and or Ella!


Don't forget to dream...

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